Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
