saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
