Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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