hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
