I wanna passion pit in your ass
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
