I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The best revenge is premature balding
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
