DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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