I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
