when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
