I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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