I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
