Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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