I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I have post one night stand depression
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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