dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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