Duck Duck Cougar?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
