he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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