Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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