he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
