how can u be prego again
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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