It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
