So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
