You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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