but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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