We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
