I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
