Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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