This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
