you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
