ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
