I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
