She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
