she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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