note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
