Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
