I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
