I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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