why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
