What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
