Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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