Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
