She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
is it fun? or sober?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
