we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
