We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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