.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
