i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize
