Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You can't motorboat a personality
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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