I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
