Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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