i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
