New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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