I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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